A Year And a Day I



A month had passed, but for Kurama it felt like a year. The cold feeling 
of loneliness in his gut had never left him, and he had given up on 
trying to go on with his life. He had taken the classic ostrich approach 
to things, and buried himself in his work as thoroughly as possible. For 
what other reason should he be productive? Hiei wasn’t here. He was alone,
and though his friends were here, he was still alone. He must have been 
laying in bed for about an hour before he decided to actually open his 
eyes and make ready to get up. Sunlight streamed into his window, and he 
winced at the glare. His green eyes, tired with lack of sleep, opened 
anyway to a world he did not really want to see. Everything reminded him 
of Hiei these days. Sighing, he rolled over and fell to the floor with a 
thump. It was the perfect start to a perfect day. 


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The day started out like every other. A brief visit with kaasan in the 
morning, during which he put on his brightest smile and pretend he 
didn’t notice her worried stare. Refusing of her morning “fuel” food and 
a loving hug and kiss and he was off the hook. He left her house, his 
smile fading as soon as he closed the door. The morning ride to work was 
a daze, and he could not remembering anything but how the putrid smell 
of the bus suited his life nicely. My, wasn’t he cynical today. 

Getting off at his stop, he stepped into the elevator and rode up to his 
office, shivering as the familiarly dry air wafted in from the 
ventilation. Even the smell was the same, and it was a comfort. For a 
couple hours he could pretend that Hiei would be home when he returned, 
he scowled, or pretend he had never met him at all. His anger at Hiei 
had lessened with the days, and Kurama stumbled at that thought, almost 
falling on his desk as he entered the room. It frightened him, for he 
knew the hole in his heart could occupy only one other emotion. 

Hours passed…tick tock. And Kurama’s mind soon drifted to more important 
things, such as Saturday night’s little stunt. His face colored at the 
thought and he swallowed his emotions with another cup of bitter coffee, 
shuffling his papers nervously. He would never live this one down. But 
what’s so wrong with dying? < Jeez, I’m sick of myself. > 

FLASHBACK 

He had no work that day, thanks to his loving toosan’s meddling, and he 
couldn’t come in even if he wanted to. He tried that already, and found 
his office locked for his trouble. Having no place else to go, he 
decided to walk home. Taking that bus again would surely kill him, and 
he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet. He laughed, < I forgot 
how tiring I could be when upset, another point to add to my personality….
>. 

On the walk back, he wasn’t there. It sounds weird, I know, but he 
really wasn’t. He couldn’t hear the honking of horns, or the sounds of 
children running to school, or feel the blossoms that fell from the 
sakura trees brush his face. This could be part of the reason he soon 
found himself flat on the ground, as someone plowed him over. 

“Keiko, Matte! ” 

Kurama groaned and shoved Yuusuke off him with his elbow, not to hard, 
but hard enough to knock him to the side effectively. This was so not 
the day to piss him off. 

“ Yuusuke….” 

Yuusuke turned back to look at Kurama nervously, chewing on his lip in 
that uncanny habit of his. Kurama found himself cringing as those brown 
eyes studied his, and he could feel the smudges around his eyes from 
lack of sleep more clearly than ever before. It was unnerving and he 
soon got on the defensive. “ Yuusuke…” He began. 

“Gomen nasai, Kurama! I didn’t mean to …uh….” 

“ That’s okay.” Kurama responded automatically. A second later he took it

At this point an awkward silence followed. The famous awkward silence 
that brings men to shame, and leaves women in tears did nothing to faze 
these two. They had long grown used to these comfortable silences between 
them and they stood in the middle of the sidewalk as person after person 
walked by them. Kurama breathed a sigh of relief as he realized Yuusuke 
wasn’t going to pry into his life like kaasan, and made to take his 
leave when a hand on his shoulder interrupted him. 

“Uh, Kurama?” 

Kurama turned around, his green eyes widened considerably. Though the 
Rekai detectives were close, they never allowed for much unveiling of 
feelings, or even physical contact. There was more of an unspoken bond 
of friendship, and now that Yuusuke had crossed it, he was sure 
something was up. Bracing himself for more interrogation, he nearly 
face-vaulted when he heard what he had to say. 

“ The guys, and well, just the guys are coming over to my house tomorrow 
night, “ Yuusuke grinned , “ You know, to have some fun, and you’re 
invited…” 

Kurama gave his best attempt at a smile, and opened his mouth to 
decline, but stopped as he saw the calculating look on Yuusuke’s face. 
He knew if he refused, Yuusuke would know something was up and wouldn’t 
let go until he found out. But if he accepted, he’d have to act the part 
of the happy youko, and he knew that if he kept that up for too long that 
might lead him straight to a mental breakdown. 

Gritting his teeth with the effort, he widened his smile almost to the 
point of a grimace, and gave a curt “yes”. Turning to go, he didn’t see 
the frown on Yuusuke’s face, or the determined gleam in his eye. His one 
thought was to get to the safety of his home , his territory, and have 
his mental breakdown in peace. 


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Saturdays were the perfect days for sleeping in, everybody knew that, 
including one sleepy youko. If Kurama turned over and looked at his 
clock, he would see that it was three in the afternoon, but he didn’t. 
Kurama greatly preferred just lying in bed and pretending he was dead. 
His mussed up red hair draped over his eyes and the curtains were closed 
so as to let the least amount of sunlight in as possible. The room was 
stuffy and warm, and Kurama’s eyes remained shut as tightly as possible 
to try and separate himself from the noises of the world around him. His 
senses seemed heightened to a painful degree, and he swore he could hear 
every breath of the people outside, and every secret told between two 
lovers. He could even hear his plants growing out on his windowsill. 
Finally, he opened his eyes and stared at his plants sadly. His emotions 
were effecting how they grew, and he knew it. He just couldn’t bring 
himself to care anymore. A drop of wetness slipped down Kurama’s cheek 
to land in his thick mane of hair. Growling, he wiped his hand across 
his face quickly, and got up to stumble toward the bathroom. The 
medicine cabinet snapped open and only minutes later Kurama was once 
again sound asleep. 


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He was too lazy to try and look presentable. He swiped the brush through 
his hair, and threw on an old pair of jeans and a new T-shirt he had 
bought a couple of months ago, but never wore. Brushing his teeth, and 
taking his keys had been the end of his pre-party ritual and he left the 
house with a ‘click’ of the door. 

The walk was pleasant, the breeze nice and cool, but he was on edge. He 
could only hope that they would believe he was ‘tired’.< Even though 
they all probably know I spent all day in bed. > Kurama scowled, 
< Nothing in this town is sacred >. 

When he reached the doorstep of Yuusuke’s house, he could already hear 
the sound of the television on full blast. His headache soon flared to 
life, and all he could think was that he couldn’t wait to drown himself 
in sake. 

The party started out well, he was relieved to note it really was just 
the guys, meaning Yuusuke, Kuwabara, and him. It was nice and impersonal,
a couple of drinks, chips and dip, plus TV and that was really all that 
was going on. Well, for a while. About an hour into the party, he began 
to get the feeling that Yuusuke was scrutinizing him. Usually, 
he wouldn’t be bothered, but he had begun to feel the effects of the 
sake and he knew he couldn’t deal one on one in this manner without 
giving anything away. < Yeah, I might tell them about me and Hiei, > 
He closed his eyes, < Hiei would just hate that wouldn’t he? Damn him! > 

“Hey, Kurama!” 

Kurama eyes opened slowly, and pasting a smile on his face, he proceeded 
to join in the party. He had no idea things were about to get more 
exciting. 


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Downing his ninth glass that night, the unbeatable Yuusuke began to sway 
as he lost his orientation, not to mention his motor skills. He didn’t 
know how Kurama could understand what he was saying, but the youko burst 
into maniacal laughter at every word that came out of his mouth. Yuusuke 
smiled as another peal of Kurama’s insane laughter washed over him, and 
raising his glass in the air, he fell on the comatose Kuwabara, down and 
out since his fifth drink. Kurama burst into another bout of laughter at 
this, and crawled over toward Yuusuke, to land beside him on the floor. 

“ I win.” Kurama whispered into his ear. Yuusuke shivered from the brush 
of air against his face, and his head cleared up immediately as the 
adrenaline rushed through his system. He could smell the sake on Kurama’s
breath, and groaned at the realization that a major hangover would be 
awaiting them in the morning. Suddenly, Kurama’s head thumped down to 
the floor and snoring pervaded the house. < I’ll take him back home in a 
couple if minutes… > 

Those minutes passed quickly and Yuusuke soon found himself dragging a 
drunk Kurama down the city streets. It wasn’t easy. Kurama was murmuring 
in his sleep and wiggling like a snake. Yuusuke almost dropped him twice 
on the way to his house. They made it to Kurama’s doorstep, and by that 
time he had begun to cling to Yuusuke like a vice and he had to struggle
to get the door open. They moved very slowly through the dark house, and 
Yuusuke kicked Kurama’s door opened and carried him into his room, 
faltering slightly at the area of disarray. Not that it was any worse 
than his room, just that it was very uncharacteristic of Kurama. 

He had been noticing something was wrong with Kurama for about a month 
now, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. And he hadn’t been the only 
one. Truly, Kuwabara has been the only one not to say anything about it, 
though he probably notices anyway. Everyone could see it was effecting 
his performance, everyone but Kurama, that is. 

Yuusuke sighed as he gently laid Kurama on the bed. < How do I deal with 
this without pushing him away? > 

To his surprise, the arms tightened around him even tighter, and those 
green eyes opened to stare at Yuusuke pleadingly. “ Don’t leave, please.” 


Yuusuke froze in his tracks, his breath going erratic as he stared into 
those stormy green eyes less than an inch from his. Their lips brushed 
against each other briefly and he felt electric shocks go up his spine 
as he was pulled down to lie beside Kurama. As soon as he was sure 
Yuusuke was secure, Kurama fell into a drunken sleep, leaving Yuusuke 
to ponder these actions on his own. 

There could be no mistaken his reaction to the recent events. He still 
felt a tingle over his entire body, and he felt uncontrollable when he 
looked at the youko. Stretching out beside him in the bed, there would 
be no sleep for him tonight. A blush of shame overtook him when he 
realized his position with the drunken youko. This was clearly taking 
advantage. Kurama probably doesn’t even like men! Scooting over away 
from the warmth of Kurama’s body, he gently pried out of the limp armed 
embrace, and sat on the floor to stare at Kurama’s sleeping face.< I’m 
too involved in this, >Yuusuke thought sadly,< Why do this have to turn 
so complicated so quickly? > 

To Be Continued….